My Heat to Bear (The Everson Brothers Book 4) Read online

  Ryan nodded, his expression clearing. In a low voice, he replied, “Craggstone is a good place to live, Max. You’ll like it here, if you give it half a chance. The town has a way of welcoming you, of making you one of its own.”

  That isn’t what I’m here for. But no sooner had I thought it, Jeanie’s face floated to the front of my mind. She was one of their own, and she was hurting from something. Who the hell was looking after her? Back off, for fucks sake, man. She’s married. Off limits. Not my problem.

  But out loud I said what Ryan needed to hear, “I’m sure it does.”

  I didn’t add that I didn’t want to be accepted. That I’d come home because it was easier than fighting to stay alive.

  Chapter Four

  Jeanie

  Bright and early the next morning I let myself into the fire station through the side entrance, flicking the bright overhead strip lights on and making a bee line straight for the coffee pot. Throwing my jacket over the chair, I hummed under my breath as I measured coffee grounds into the filter, adding an extra scoop in the vain hope that it’d help combat the overwhelming fatigue that tugged at me, despite it being bright and early and scandalously sunny outside.

  It wasn’t my fault I hadn’t been able to sleep last night; it was a certain someone’s fault. And he was remaining nameless, even inside my own head, because he’d had no right being there, in my dreams. Stalking up to me and pressing me down against the bed, covering my body with his large, muscular bulk. Grinding against me until I woke gasping for breath, beaded with sweat as the tremor of an orgasm lingered just out of reach.

  Damn subconscious!

  Finishing off the coffee prep, I sidestepped over to the cupboard, wiggling my hips in time to my mishmash of a tune, and dragged out two overlarge mugs.

  “I hope one of those is for me,” a deep voice murmured from behind me.

  Directly behind me.

  The mugs clattered onto the worktop. That wasn’t Ted’s voice, although it sounded familiar. I spun around, ready to lay into whoever it was that thought they just could waltz into the station and creep up on me.

  “Jeanie!” Max straightened up from where he had been lounging against the wall, his eyes widening in shock, a look I knew was mirrored on my own face. “What are you doing here?”

  I closed my eyes, counted to ten, then opened them again. Still there. Still six foot plus of hunky gorgeousness, rumpled around the edges and eyeing me with a wariness that had me second guessing his motives. Then it hit me. I bit back a groan, wondering what the hell I had done to deserve this particular brand of torture. “Let me guess, you’re the new Chief?”

  His eyes narrowed, assessing me. “Yes, I am.”

  This time the groan escaped as any chance of avoiding him evaporated in a pop. Turning away from him, I dragged the now full coffee pot out and tipped it into the two mugs. Dumping in a generous serving of cream I gulped down a mouthwatering swallow, my mind racing as I tried to figure out how to deal with this new information. I had to work with the guy. Here. At the only place where I’d ever felt worth something. Straightening my spine, I turned and slid the other coffee mug across the table between us. “I forgot to say yesterday, welcome to Craggstone, Chief.” The tiniest hint of sarcasm clung to my voice, which wasn’t fair. He hadn’t had reason to introduce himself as my new boss yesterday, it wasn’t like he’d deliberately withheld information. But he’d come onto you— Wait. No, he hadn’t. My fantasies were a figment of my imagination, nothing more. Completely my own fault. It wasn’t as if he’d asked for me to imagine him naked, or given me any reason to believe he wanted to lay me down on this table and have his wicked way with me.

  Geez! Get a grip! I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, hoping to hell that the heat swirling beneath my skin hadn’t turned me into a lovely shade of ripe tomato.

  Accepting the mug, he ignored the cream and sugar, instead taking a deep breath and blowing over the steaming brew. Then his eyes shot to mine. “Wait … you work here? What about the hardware store?” At my careful shrug, he winced. “Shit … I’m an asshole, assuming that you worked there.”

  At least he wasn’t the kind of asshole who thought a woman didn’t know a wrench from a hammer. “Nope. I’m part time here at the station.”

  “And the other half of your time?”

  “This and that.” Work wasn’t plentiful in Craggstone, and it wasn’t like I needed the money anyway.

  Accepting my non-answer, he nodded and pulled out a chair.

  Following his cue, I sank down into my seat and carefully chose a spot on the wall above his right ear to stare at.

  “How long have you worked here?” His question was carefully casual and it set alarm bells ringing, despite its apparent innocence.

  Running a finger around the edge of my mug, my eyes flicked to his face. “A couple of years now. How long have you been in the business?”

  The corner of his mouth turned up in an attempt at a half smile, but his eyes darkened. “More than long enough.” Leaning back in his chair, he hooked a leg over his knee and rested his hands in his lap. “You’re trained then?”

  “Fully.” I knew where this was going, had been around men like him long enough to know.

  “Up to date?”

  I forced myself to stay loose and relaxed. “Yup.” I wasn’t going to make this easy for him. If he wanted to be rid of me, then he’d have a fight on his hands. Disappointment flooded me, that I’d misjudged him. He was like all the other nay-sayers in this town. I’d fought hard for this job and I wasn’t about to tuck my tail between my legs and run. Righteous indignation burned away any lingering nerves, along with the slow burn of lust that had been building ever since our chance meeting yesterday. Meeting his gaze, I held it.

  “Morning!” Ted’s voice called from across the room, echoing and bouncing off the high ceilings as he clocked in. Making his way over to the kitchen, he fixed himself a cup of coffee, seemingly oblivious to the tension humming through the air. Not to mention the new guy seated opposite me. Tall and lanky, Ted suffered from a permanent case of wind burned ruddy cheeks, which he manfully tried to disguise with a thick beard. Partial to plaid, the summer months meant short sleeved shirts and cut off shorts, and that I was treated to a view of his hairy legs on a daily basis. Steel toe capped boots finished off his daily wardrobe, essential for when on duty, but overall making him look bizarre. And there was the little fact that he was convinced I was in love with him. That I secretly lusted after him. That I was only denying the attraction because we were work colleagues. If he hadn’t been such a nice guy, I would have set him straight. As it was, no matter how many times I told him I wasn’t interested, he’d just look at me with the same amused look he always had and shake his head. As if I was the one deluding myself.

  Still. He might come in as a useful deflection between myself and Max. Someone on my side.

  “Ted?”

  “Uh huh?” Leaning back against the counter, he grinned at me, throwing in a wink for good measure.

  “Have you met, Max? Our new Chief?”

  “Sure! I mean, I haven’t met him, but I’ve heard about him.”

  My eyes slid back to Max, but he wasn’t there. His chair was empty! When the hell had he slipped away? “He was right here…”

  Ted shrugged, too easy going to let something like meeting the new boss ruffle him. Scooping his hair back and securing it at the nape of his neck with a rubber band, he picked up his mug of coffee, taking a grateful gulp. “I’ll meet him soon enough—”

  “Ted, is it?” Max’s voice sounded deep and low as he strode back into the kitchen area, sucking up all the space with his presence. He stuck out his hand.

  Ted straightened, his grin fading until he was all business. Accepting Max’s hand, he shook it with an energy unlike his usual laid back self. “Yep, that’s me. Good to have you here, I’ve heard great things about you from friends down in the city. You’re quite the legend.” He ended his sp
eech with a slap to Max’s shoulder.

  Wow. Did he want me to get him a cushion for his knees while he kissed Max’s ass? Talking about knees … I gave mine a gentle rub, willing it to behave for at least the next few minutes. No need to give him any ammunition to help get rid of me.

  Their voices were a low rumble as they exchanged the usual bullshit pleasantries, throwing names out in a do you know … game of one-up-man-ship.

  I might as well have not been there.

  Picking up my coffee mug, I sidled around the men, gave it a quick rinse and set it on the drainer to dry. They didn’t even pause for breath, though Max’s eyes followed me as I walked from the room, burning into me with an intensity that was hard to miss.

  Settling myself in the little office off the main corridor, I picked up where I’d left off, sorting through the reams of paperwork the old Chief had let slide during his final year in post, his eyes and stamina not what they used to be. The clock ticked on, marking the silence with the comforting reassurance of time passing, the rustle of paper and scratch of pen my only distraction. If I’d expected Max to follow me, I would have been disappointed. But I hadn’t expected it.

  Liar. I shushed the small voice, soothing it with the fact that I’d already decided Max was off limits.

  “I’ve arranged a drill to start in ten.”

  Speak of the devil. I glanced up, but the doorway was already empty, his footsteps echoing down the corridor as he walked away without a second glance. I mentally shrugged. Okay, then.

  Filing a piece of paper, I stacked up the remainder, jotting down a quick note to remind myself where I’d gotten to, and made my way to the small excuse for a changing room, located next to the bathroom, around the back. A drill meant full rig and I was still only wearing my jeans and a flimsy summer blouse. Grabbing my bag out of my locker in the hallway, I pushed open the door.

  Shock had the bag dropping to the floor with a soft thump, my mouth falling open and eyes widening until they physically hurt.

  Max stood in the middle of the changing room, his very naked, colorfully inked back turned to the door and hands working the waistband of his sweatpants down. Way down. Scandalously low. Like, he-doesn’t-have-a-tan-line low. Muscles flexed as he bent at the waist, firm buttocks revealed in all their glory, strong thighs slightly spread as he kicked off his pants. Spread. A gap. Was that his—?

  My gasp echoed around the room, my eyes watering with the effort not to blink. Wow. As in, thigh clenching, mouth watering wow.

  “It’s rude to stare.” His deep baritone jarred me out of my fantasy, though really it had consisted of nothing but white noise and the image of his utter gorgeous nakedness burning its way into my retinas.

  “Sorry!” I squeaked out. “Ted always locks the door when he’s in here, so I know not to come in.”

  Taking his damn time, he shook out a pair of jeans and pulled them on. “I see,” he eventually replied, in a lightly mocking tone. One that was also devoid of any warmth. Sliding the snug denim up his thighs, he gave it a last tug, hand retreating around to his front and doing that lift and tuck thing that men always did when stowing their … equipment. But his shoulder dipped a hell of a lot lower than I’d ever witness on another man when stowing his junk, took a fair while longer too. Tugging a T-shirt on, he grabbed his overalls and helmet.

  Christ, Jeanie! Way too much focusing on something I was never going to see. Again. Because burned into my mind, along with his muscles and fine ass, was the thick length of his—

  This time I slapped the side of my head, giving up on any pretense of calm.

  Turning around, he peered at me, and for a brief second I thought I saw a glimpse of what might have been concern, but it was wiped away in seconds. And replaced with a scowl? “I’ll see you out there in two minutes.”

  I reacted on instinct, grabbing his arm as he brushed past me, all embarrassment burned away. “What the hell is your problem?”

  Glancing down at where my fingers were curled around his bicep, he raised his eyebrows, blue eyes burning into mine.

  The air felt thick and liquid as I dragged it into my lungs, his closeness suffocating in a way that had my heart hammering in my chest and brain short firing. I sucked in another breath. Come on, pull it together. I leaned into him, determined to get an answer. This was my job, my life. He had no right coming into town and messing with it. “Is it because I’m a woman? You think I can’t do the job?”

  A beat passed, our eyes clashing.

  Then he leaned away, giving his arm a not so gentle tug. “No.”

  Releasing him, I wound my arms around my waist, hugging myself against the sudden chill in his gaze. “No, I can’t do the job. Or no, you don’t think that.”

  Whatever I’d been expecting, it hadn’t been the answer he snapped at me, “What does your husband think of you working shifts?”

  Who the hell did he think he was, demanding personal information like that? Ah, yeah. My new boss. “We don’t work shifts,” I shot back, stubbornness commanding me not to answer.

  “You do now,” he said in a silky voice.

  Great.

  “Fine.” It came out mangled as I forced my answer out through gritted teeth. It was none of his damn business, I coached myself.

  “He’s fine with it?”

  And you’re fishing. “I just said so, didn’t I?” The sane part of me knew I should just damn well tell him that the ring didn’t mean anything, but to me, it still did, dammit! As if I didn’t know that I should have taken it off by now. Yesterday, for the first time in a long while, I’d thought about it. But I hadn’t. It was my only reminder of Joel and the life we’d once had together. A bittersweet warning of what could happen if you let your guard down.

  Tears pricked at my eyes, sudden and unwelcome. I turned away and swiped at them. Why the hell am I crying? It had been so long ago and I was over it. I’d learned to live on in this new and utterly terrifying version of life. So, why the hell was I acting like an unhinged basket case?

  I swallowed against the hot burn in my throat, digging my fingers into my shirt and squeezing until it hurt.

  Why now? I had it together, everyone had stopped asking me if I was okay, people had forgotten. Everything was okay. Then this, in front of him? Did I want him to fire me before I’d even had a chance to show him what I could do?

  A hand halted mine mid-swipe, a thumb gently stroking across my cheek and chasing a traitorous tear. I chanced a look. He was close, his chest blurry and covered in soft blue cotton. The sudden urge to lean into him nearly overwhelmed me, rising up and pummeling at my self control. Would he comfort me? Would he hold me and whisper that everything’s going to be okay? Would he kiss away my tears and chase away the dark?

  “I—” I swallowed past the lump, forcing out the words I knew I needed to say. No more dancing around it. No more using it as an excuse. Everyone in the town already knew my story, so it wasn’t as if he couldn’t find out, if he cared to ask.

  “I’m not married. Not anymore.”

  Chapter Five

  Max

  What the hell? My hand froze, tension humming through me, this time a different kind of tension from what I’d been holding back since laying eyes on her this morning.

  She’d turned around and passed me a cup of coffee and all I’d been able to think about was how I could sit and watch her all day. How I’d be happy whiling away the hours learning her language; what it meant when the corner of her lips twitched, the reason behind the small crinkle between her eyes when her nostrils flared. What was she thinking? Planning? Dreaming about?

  And that was ignoring the nearly overwhelming urge to taste her, need crawling through my veins and lighting my blood with the thudding rhythm of desire beating at me, digging its claws in and demanding that I had to do this. Had to take her in my arms and kiss away her small frown, learn her body the way I wanted to learn her thoughts—completely and without reservation.

  But there was one big f
at reservation, the reason I’d been fighting myself all day. Her husband. The man she had promised to love and cherish above all others. The man who deserved my respect even though I wanted to have serious words with the asshole.

  The man who had suddenly been removed from the equation, which left me with no reason as to why I shouldn’t act on those urges. Apart from the obvious—she was already starting to mean too much to me, which meant I had to keep my distance. If I wanted to stay sane, then I had to.

  She’s not married. Her words were bouncing around inside my head, faster and faster until they were almost a roar. Or that might have been my bear, letting his opinion be heard.

  Stunned, I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I wanted to ask her all the questions, but instinct was telling me that she wasn’t ready to share. Not yet, and especially not after the way I’d been treating her all day. The tightness around her eyes and the tremor of her bottom lip confirmed it for me.

  So, no questions, only easy going acceptance.

  I gritted my teeth while commanding my bear to dial it down. I needed to think. Actually, I needed to tell her that she couldn’t work here anymore. I couldn’t have her here; a woman working under my command. Not again. I’d vowed it, staked my sanity on it.

  Frustration tore through me as the words refused to come.

  At my touch she’d leaned into me. I wasn’t sure she even realized she’d done it, but she had. She still was, eyeing me as though she was trying to figure me out, too.

  My thoughts coalesced in jolt of understanding. I can’t send her away.

  Why? What was so special about her? My thumb lifted away from her cheek and her breath caught. We were close. Too close.

  It had to be because she was hurting and wounded, and I knew what that felt like. She was tugging on all my protective instincts, that had to be it. She needed someone to look after her and make sure she was okay. Someone to lift her up and show her that life was worth living.